..... there's a link between the two there somewhere.
I really don't know what it is about what's the link in my head relating to me, hubby and food --- I can do this whose SS thing and it doesn't bother me at all, I can sit through lovely meals that hubby has made and meals out with others and people having choccies in the office --- but put it in my head that me and hubby are gonna do something nice (I love the word nice - perfect) then I think 'oh we could have' or 'oh we could go and have' etc etc etc...... and good on him he doesn't think anything like this, he really couldn't be more supportive as I think he knows how miserable this whole weight thing makes me even though I never talk about it.
We're both off work tomorrow and we're going doing our Christmas shopping .... one of the first thoughts in my head was 'shop then go .... for lunch' then etc etc --- madness! I've no intention on giving this up but these stupid thoughts do happen --- arghhhhh. So tomorrow will be another food free day for me - it's packs all the way. I'll be fine over the weekend as he's going away with workmates for their Christmas do so I'll be temptation free then. Poor love, makes it sound as though it's his fault but he doesn't even know these thoughts run through my head!
Even though I'm nearly a stone down my tummy feels massive today - it's totm any time now ..... in fact that could be something to do with the mental cravings too????? Anyway I've got a big belly today and the scales haven't been moving but I can live with that, body cycles and all that are only to be expected.
Have done my utmost to get out of going for a Christmas meal on Monday afternoon and I think I've succeeded ----- in fact I have cos I'm just not going to go, am making an adult decision here, really don't want to go it's just that it's a work thing ---- trust me to start dieting at Christmas - typical :)
Thursday, 4 December 2008
Tuesday, 2 December 2008
Week 1 Weigh In....
.... and I'm 10.5lbs lighter than I was this time last week - can't really ask for much more than that in a week can you. Funnily I can see the difference but only in my new coat (typical!) - I bought myself a lovely long brown winter coat the other week and it fitted well but with not much room for manouvere so to speak whereas now there is a definite loosening across the bust, hey who cares, I'll just have to buy another (cheaper!) coat if it goes way too big.
Got myself 7 mint choc shakes for this week, it was lovely having one the other night while snuggled on the sofa watching tv - I do love hot choc anyway so thought I'd treat myself to one a night.
So far not done any exercise, don't feel mentally or physically up to going to the gym just yet but maybe sometime soon --- plan to get going on my wii fit but just not got there yet.
It's onwards and downwards all the way.....
xx
Got myself 7 mint choc shakes for this week, it was lovely having one the other night while snuggled on the sofa watching tv - I do love hot choc anyway so thought I'd treat myself to one a night.
So far not done any exercise, don't feel mentally or physically up to going to the gym just yet but maybe sometime soon --- plan to get going on my wii fit but just not got there yet.
It's onwards and downwards all the way.....
xx
Sunday, 30 November 2008
Back and all change.....
.... well I'm back and sadly there is a hell of a lot more of me than there was before - 5stone more! It's been a pretty horrible year dietwise, had some major mental traumas going on work wise that stupidly as they finished was the time that my body and mind went into relapse and the dieting was what gave - somebody put it as my cup filling over and only being able to cope with so much and I do think that's about right.
Also my 'back' this time is different as I've started Cambridge and not returned to Lighter Life - the main reason for this being that I really did not want to go back to a group and group work, part of my not going back when I first started eating was that I didn't want to go in a group.
I've found a lovely counsellor who is much more local to me - less than 5 mins drive - and I went to see her last Tuesday and started the diet on Wednesday. It's good to have so many options re flavours but the best thing is that the Oriental Chilli is the same as the Thai Chilli on LL so I've got my fix back.
The diet is going really well so far - struggled today with the drinking of the water but that's because I'm home alone as everyone else has been out all day but normally I don't struggle with that. Got to say that I am so much happier now doing this than I really have been in months - I know I've lost a few pounds but feel like I've lost a ton weight from my shoulders just getting back into it.
Main focus now is to 'up' - by up mean start - the exercise now, gonna get going on my wii fit and do some fun step classes to start me off - so it's onwards and downwards.
I have read other peoples blogs while I've been away - keeping a eye on my friends, but I just couldn't post on them, think it was a shame/disappointment thing, hopefully that feeling will ease with time.
xx
Also my 'back' this time is different as I've started Cambridge and not returned to Lighter Life - the main reason for this being that I really did not want to go back to a group and group work, part of my not going back when I first started eating was that I didn't want to go in a group.
I've found a lovely counsellor who is much more local to me - less than 5 mins drive - and I went to see her last Tuesday and started the diet on Wednesday. It's good to have so many options re flavours but the best thing is that the Oriental Chilli is the same as the Thai Chilli on LL so I've got my fix back.
The diet is going really well so far - struggled today with the drinking of the water but that's because I'm home alone as everyone else has been out all day but normally I don't struggle with that. Got to say that I am so much happier now doing this than I really have been in months - I know I've lost a few pounds but feel like I've lost a ton weight from my shoulders just getting back into it.
Main focus now is to 'up' - by up mean start - the exercise now, gonna get going on my wii fit and do some fun step classes to start me off - so it's onwards and downwards.
I have read other peoples blogs while I've been away - keeping a eye on my friends, but I just couldn't post on them, think it was a shame/disappointment thing, hopefully that feeling will ease with time.
xx
Tuesday, 25 March 2008
Day 78 and still going strong...
.... well I'm still here and still doing, and diet and all it's been quite an eventful and exciting few weeks really.
I really feel that I'm getting this a whole lot more this time, seem to have a better handle on my life and what I want - I feel like I'm taking it rather than it taking me if that makes sense.
Dietwise all going really well, having consistent losses and as of last night (11th weigh in) I'd lost 45lbs (3st 3lbs), so I was really happy to crack that 3 stone barrier - all being well I'll be in the 13's in the next couple of days ----- I'd set myself a mini-goal of being in the 13's for Sunday so hopefully I'll be there.
I've also been for a new job, within the same company/service but at a higher grade - I got it (yippee) and the way that we're moving due to a major restructure this means that I'm moving right into the thick of it at a really exciting time - so it's going to be challenging and exciting and I can't wait to start.
I also decided a couple of weeks ago that I was going to do what I'd always wanted to and look into learning to drive a motorbike - I phoned one Sunday and the next I was doing the first stage of my CBT ---- I passed the CBT (got my theory test (arghhh) this Thursday) and today I went and bought myself a bike - a Yamaha YBR125
I've gone for the red one as in this picture and I love it to bits - haven't got it yet as I have to wait for it to be ready at the dealers but I did buy the helmet and gloves etc so at least I came home with something.
It was such a sense of achievement doing my CBT and now buying the bike - I'd wanted to for years and always let my weight hold me back..... in fact it was Ste who told me to just go for it, I'm so glad he did!
I'll let you know how she rides when I get her home................
Clotheswise - I've not bought hardly anything, in fact I can't think of anything I have bought. I'm back in the Next size 16 jeans and t-shirts I bought last summer, in fact the jeans feel that bit loose but I'd still say I'm a 16/18 ----- in fact I bought a fitted t-shirt in a 16 from Next a couple of weeks ago and I've worn that and it fits okay so I may just be a 16.
I've tried on my Levis jeans (next try on is due the 14th April) - they came up this time, I'd say all the way up but were very very tight and the zip couldn't have been any wider apart .... but before too long they'll be on me and fastened and when they are the photo proving it will be on here!
I've not been blogging as I'd have liked to and aim to try and catch up properly over the next few weeks, have been reading posts but not posting --- this has to change ....... got to say those puppies of Shelagh's are just stunning though!
Stay happy and focussed everyone .... it's all worth it xx
I really feel that I'm getting this a whole lot more this time, seem to have a better handle on my life and what I want - I feel like I'm taking it rather than it taking me if that makes sense.
Dietwise all going really well, having consistent losses and as of last night (11th weigh in) I'd lost 45lbs (3st 3lbs), so I was really happy to crack that 3 stone barrier - all being well I'll be in the 13's in the next couple of days ----- I'd set myself a mini-goal of being in the 13's for Sunday so hopefully I'll be there.
I've also been for a new job, within the same company/service but at a higher grade - I got it (yippee) and the way that we're moving due to a major restructure this means that I'm moving right into the thick of it at a really exciting time - so it's going to be challenging and exciting and I can't wait to start.
I also decided a couple of weeks ago that I was going to do what I'd always wanted to and look into learning to drive a motorbike - I phoned one Sunday and the next I was doing the first stage of my CBT ---- I passed the CBT (got my theory test (arghhh) this Thursday) and today I went and bought myself a bike - a Yamaha YBR125
I've gone for the red one as in this picture and I love it to bits - haven't got it yet as I have to wait for it to be ready at the dealers but I did buy the helmet and gloves etc so at least I came home with something.
It was such a sense of achievement doing my CBT and now buying the bike - I'd wanted to for years and always let my weight hold me back..... in fact it was Ste who told me to just go for it, I'm so glad he did!
I'll let you know how she rides when I get her home................
Clotheswise - I've not bought hardly anything, in fact I can't think of anything I have bought. I'm back in the Next size 16 jeans and t-shirts I bought last summer, in fact the jeans feel that bit loose but I'd still say I'm a 16/18 ----- in fact I bought a fitted t-shirt in a 16 from Next a couple of weeks ago and I've worn that and it fits okay so I may just be a 16.
I've tried on my Levis jeans (next try on is due the 14th April) - they came up this time, I'd say all the way up but were very very tight and the zip couldn't have been any wider apart .... but before too long they'll be on me and fastened and when they are the photo proving it will be on here!
I've not been blogging as I'd have liked to and aim to try and catch up properly over the next few weeks, have been reading posts but not posting --- this has to change ....... got to say those puppies of Shelagh's are just stunning though!
Stay happy and focussed everyone .... it's all worth it xx
Tuesday, 4 March 2008
Day 57 - about a quarter in?
Well in my head I believe I'm going to be doing LL for the next few months, till at least July when it all stops come hell or high water and I'm now 57 days into it and it's all going okay so far. Stuck to the plan like glue though I am having the flavoured coffees from Julian Graves and/or Boaters - which is mad as until 3 weeks ago I'd never drunk coffee!
Went for my 8th weigh in last night and have lost 4lb taking me to a total of 37lb so far ---- totally chuffed with this though still have 1st 2lb to go till I get to my lowest ever on LL - shouldn't take too long to get there (she types hopefully!).
Have given myself loads of mini goals to reach over the next few weeks so they should keep me on the straight and narrow ---- and it's only 10 days to the next time I try the jeans on - that month has passed pretty quickly - time is flying by..... Roll on summer!
Went for my 8th weigh in last night and have lost 4lb taking me to a total of 37lb so far ---- totally chuffed with this though still have 1st 2lb to go till I get to my lowest ever on LL - shouldn't take too long to get there (she types hopefully!).
Have given myself loads of mini goals to reach over the next few weeks so they should keep me on the straight and narrow ---- and it's only 10 days to the next time I try the jeans on - that month has passed pretty quickly - time is flying by..... Roll on summer!
Tuesday, 19 February 2008
Day 43 - Still sticking to it!
Went for my 6th weigh in last night and had lost 3lbs taking me to a grand total of 29lbs YIPEEEEE! I also got measured and have lost 2.75" off my bust, 4.25" off my waist and .5" off my hips - so they're a bit odd but at least they are inches off and not on!
Still sticking with the packs etc and don't seem to be having any problems with them - still having all 4 in the evening though and none during the day - find that I'm happier that way at the moment but maybe that will all change again soon.
Headwise I'm okay, have bought a pair of 32" Levis jeans (always wanted a pair of levis) in the hope that if I try them on regularly then I won't freak (like I did with the skirt) when they fit. Going to try them on on the 14th of each month and have my pic taken trying them so I can see the difference at the end.
Lesley - it is strange that we're back on the packs ----- better this way though, we're taking our lives and our futures and we are controlling them and not letting food control them - bloody good we are!
xx
Still sticking with the packs etc and don't seem to be having any problems with them - still having all 4 in the evening though and none during the day - find that I'm happier that way at the moment but maybe that will all change again soon.
Headwise I'm okay, have bought a pair of 32" Levis jeans (always wanted a pair of levis) in the hope that if I try them on regularly then I won't freak (like I did with the skirt) when they fit. Going to try them on on the 14th of each month and have my pic taken trying them so I can see the difference at the end.
Lesley - it is strange that we're back on the packs ----- better this way though, we're taking our lives and our futures and we are controlling them and not letting food control them - bloody good we are!
xx
Wednesday, 6 February 2008
Day 30 - Another good weigh in
Went to class on Monday and I've lost another 3lb so that a total of 23lb in 4 weeks so am very happy with that. The group has dropped in numbers to just 3 - there started off with at least 13 of us but it was a refresher course for those who have done it and dropped it, anyway by week 3 there were just the 3 of us and I was relieved to see that they both turned up again this week. I think my LLC will arrange for her next development group to come and join us so that won't be too bad.
The good thing about there only being the 3 of us is that we just chat constantly and truthfully about LL and why we're there, out pasts etc so it's like counselling the whole way through the session - it's pretty good.
Lots of hassle and stress work wise due to a massive restructure that is affecting thousands of us - so if you're not already thinking about it or worried for yourself you can be sure that almost everyone you speak to in a day is going to mention it and their worries so it's a constant headache. It's been going on for months but thankfully the tier that I'm in should be sorted within the next 6 weeks so at least I'll know where my future lies then.
Dietwise well I'm doing well and sticking to the packs, having a couple of savoury drinks a day just to keep me warm though - and I'm still counting my water intake to be sure I'm getting enough - all in all it's not too bad.
The good thing about there only being the 3 of us is that we just chat constantly and truthfully about LL and why we're there, out pasts etc so it's like counselling the whole way through the session - it's pretty good.
Lots of hassle and stress work wise due to a massive restructure that is affecting thousands of us - so if you're not already thinking about it or worried for yourself you can be sure that almost everyone you speak to in a day is going to mention it and their worries so it's a constant headache. It's been going on for months but thankfully the tier that I'm in should be sorted within the next 6 weeks so at least I'll know where my future lies then.
Dietwise well I'm doing well and sticking to the packs, having a couple of savoury drinks a day just to keep me warm though - and I'm still counting my water intake to be sure I'm getting enough - all in all it's not too bad.
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